When Alien Abductions Go WrongSick
by Neo the Saiyan angel
Summary: A different version of events from 'Mad Dogs and Aliens'. What if Warmonga had come to a different conclusion when Drakken's deceit was revealed? Ah, alien romance.


_A bit of a reimagining of the events in 'Mad Dogs and Aliens'. No Warhok in this one. Warlordian society is a bit...different. Also added make-up words because some of the stuff doesn't translate from Warlordian to English._

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"So you are not the Great Blue foretold by the prophecy?" Warmonga peered closely at Drakken, looking for any sign of a lie. Of which there were plenty. It was now obvious even to her that he was lying. For him to even try it now would be quite bold indeed.

"Well…hmm…technically, it _may_ be true…you just never know these things for sure…hehe…" Drakken was desperately trying to buy time, looking around the area for something, _anything_ that he could use for cover or that looked like a solid exit. Unfortunately for him, the collapse of the lair had cut off any clear way to escape. He quickly realized that there was no way out and decided to give in. After all, he was going to be beaten to a pulp for lying anyway. What (more) harm could there be by telling the truth? "Nnnngh…all right fine! I'm not the Great Blue! I'm just a regular blue supergenius. There! Happy?"

Warmonga was taken slightly aback by his blunt declaration. "You are not going to lie to Warmonga again?"

Drakken cringed and replied, "Well, I wasn't lying exactly…it COULD be true!"

A few feet away, Shego snorted in contempt. "Yeah, and I'm actually the freakin' crown princess of Earth."

Drakken sent Shego a glare that would've been worthy of making Dementor cower a little and snapped, "Shut UP, Shego!"

Warmonga was amazed. This blue man had deceived her, gotten her to try and conquer this pathetic planet for him, had made her mercilessly fight against those that he knew, possibly even sacrificing the life of one of his subordinates just to win…this ruthlessness, this cunning, his total confidence…her quarlaps were getting very warm.

He was like the males on Warlordia minus the desire to completely beg for mercy whenever a female approached. Here he was, ignoring what could be his last moments to yell at the rebellious woman that had fought her hand-to-hand. The small green woman, though not nearly as physically capable as her, was obviously an alpha female and he was standing strong against her, yelling and rebelling like nothing Warmonga had ever seen.

For some reason, it was a major turn-on for the alien warrior. An actual male with confidence like she had never seen was a rare find for her.

Too rare to pass up.

Drakken, meanwhile, had remembered just the situation he was in and shut his eyes, fearing the wrath that was soon to be upon his person. He knew with absolute certainty that he was doomed. Pain beyond that which even Shego could deal was what he was going to face. But at least it would just be temporary, right? She wouldn't deal any _real_ damage to his person…would she? He steeled himself as the large green woman made a contemplative noise. Probably settling on what kind of torture to inflict on him.

Warmonga walked up to the shuddering blue man. "You may not be the Great Blue destined to lead my people..." she said slowly, bending down to his level in an attempt to look him in the eyes. Drakken used his long-practiced ability to avoid her gaze. This didn't matter to the giantess as she swept him into her arms and gave him a big hug. A move that surprised all the others in the room.

"Guh?!" Drakken's face was pressed into Warmonga's huge tracts of land, cutting off most of his air supply.

"...but you are the blue man destined to bring love to my heart." Warmonga held Drakken out and eyed him in a way that Drakken couldn't ever really remember ever happening to him…except for that incident with the moodulators. Warmonga smiled a sexy scary smile at the slightly put-off blue man as she proclaimed, "Let us go fornicate and have offspring that will conquer the cosmos!"

Drakken's eyes bulged in shock. Did she just…? Was she suggesting…?

No!

Nuh-uh!

He may have resigned himself to a bachelor's life and wished that it wasn't so, but this was just pushing it! There was no way he was letting an alien that close to himself. Especially since he could still remember that much-too-enthusiastic probing that he'd endured from his 'friends' from Area 51…

As Warmonga pulled him back in for another tight hug, he managed to gasp "Shego! Help!"

Shego merely smirked at the sight and shrugged. "Now really Dr D… Why would I get in the way of such an obviously strong love? You haven't even given her a chance." Shego's eyes narrowed, making her smile much less friendly (which was a feat upon itself). "You're the one that got yourself into this mess, remember? I'm sure that a 'blue supergenius' like yourself can work your way out of this. Breaking her heart might not _necessarily_ result in your broken body."

Kim just stood by completely flabbergasted. "Wait. You want Doctor Drakken? _HIM_? The guy that tricked you and got all of your weapons destroyed by us? Who doesn't have an attractive bone in his body?"

"Hey!" Drakken had managed to wrestle his head out from between Warmonga's voluptuous breasts and sent the teenage heroine a glare. "I can be suave when I want to! …I just don't want to." Gasping for a bit more air, he turned to the giantess so that they were almost face-to-face. "Uhhh…just out of curiosity…why _are_ you interested in me?"

Warmonga made a disbelieving noise in her throat and released Drakken, who promptly fell to the ground on his butt. He made a whimpering noise as he grabbed his tuckus and wiped his watering eyes a little while looking up at the much-larger woman that was apparently attracted to him.

"You mean you do not see?" Warmonga tilted her head at the two other women in the room. "How can you not realize his amazing potential?"

"Amazing potential." Shego said it like it was one of those things that shouldn't be allowed paired with the other. "Drakken and amazing potential." A smirk stuck itself on her face as she held her tongue on what was the pure 24K mocking gold that she had been lecturing Warmonga on holding back on earlier. It wasn't that she wanted to preserve Drakken's ego. Far from it. She just wasn't looking forward to facing the alien if she decided that the comments offended her newfound love.

"This I have _got_ to hear." Kim cocked a hip to hold her position and she crossed her arms in ready of hearing the explanation Warmonga would have. Anything that could make Drakken seem attractive would have to be something that was invisible because Kim just didn't see it.

Warmonga blinked. Surely these females were not as smart as she thought they were. To pass up a specimen like this blue man was foolish on their part. It was a mistake that she was not going to make.

Or maybe they were just that naïve?

Yes, that was probably it. They did not have the experience with men as she had. All the sniveling groveling pathetic men that would bow and scrape at your feet, disgracing themselves as they did so to try and make themselves as little as possible.

That sort of thing did not appeal at all to the warrior. Where was their pride? Their ambition? How did that attitude become prevalent in Lorwardian society? The green giantess could not understand her peers at all in their attitude towards their mates. The feebler the better seemed to be the theme. She most certainly did not want that.

She wanted someone that she could proudly go into battle to fight to come back to. Someone that could keep the home front stable and care for their offspring while she brings honor to their bloodlines. This man most certainly fit the bill. Compared to the other men, he was a Grand Chilna!

If she were to explain her reasons, that might make them want him. They probably did not realize the treasure in front of them. This male brimming with confidence and wit was the one that she had been hoping to find through her long 14 limnas. The Great Blu—…_Drakken_ was a potential mate that she was not going to let them have.

On a normal day Warmonga would have explained to the pitiful creatures of their doom, decimated the planet that she was on, and enslaved any that survived.

Not this day. This day was unusual in that she had found a man that attracted her and that she had actually had a fight with the inhabitants and she was unable to completely put them down. She was feeling more run down than usual. And with a newly-acquired male in tow, she wasn't willing to risk another fight with them and lose him.

To them, it looked like she had just been standing there gathering her thoughts. Maybe finally realizing that yeah, he wasn't a catch and that he was better just beaten into submission and left to rot. What they _hadn't_ expected was for her to suddenly yell, "WARMONGA!", sweep a shocked and protesting Drakken up with one arm, and pull a remote out with her free hand that activated a beam in her ship that pulled her and the blue man up into it.

Before either Kim or Shego could do more than gawk at the sight, the ship took off for the outer atmosphere. They watched it rise higher and higher until it was no longer visible to the naked eye.

They stood for a few more minutes while trying to figure out what just happened. Naturally, Shego was the first to speak.

"…you gonna go after him?"

Kim looked at Shego like she had just told her that she shopped at Smarty Mart and was proud of it.

"Yeah…I don't think so. One encounter with an alien is enough for me to handle today and I think that he kind of asked for it. Playing with fire and all." Kim uncrossed her arms and looked at Shego. "What about you?"

"Me? Go after _him_? After I've tried to get rid of him for the last several months after 'Plan Fast Food Flop'? Don't think so, princess." Shego examined her claws and sighed. "Besides, I'm sure that she'll get bored with him as a toy soon enough." She snorted and added, "That or he'll get death by snuu-snuu."

Kim gave Shego a funny look but didn't bite at the comment. "Yeah, I'm sure she'll realize her mistake and drop him off in Nevada or something."

They both shifted uncomfortably.

"Sooo…I have to get back to the game." Kim turned. "See you at your next heist?"

"Yeah. And I have to get back to the spa. Midas and his golden touch and all. See ya, princess."

They both mentally made plans to watch for signs of random shooting star activity in Nevada, Kim to arrest him and Shego to save his butt and make him give her a raise.


End file.
